If Shakespeare were a beat writer following the Phillies, the lede to his story for last night’s game would have been, “Slider, o slider, where fore art thou slider?”

Matsui, two strikes, slider, popped up.

Jeter, two strikes, slider, struck out.

Damon, two strikes, fouls off several fastballs before poking one into left field for a single. Then all hell breaks loose.

Damon steals second. Brad Lidge forgets to cover third base with the shift on for Teixeira and Damon runs to the free base.

Runner on third, two outs. Lidge inexplicably plunks Teixeira to put runners on the corners. Still two outs.

The last time I checked, this is the World Series, the highest possible level of professional baseball. If the pitcher and coaches are too afraid to throw a slider for a strikeout because there’s a runner on third base who could score if the ball gets past Carlos Ruiz, then maybe it’s time to find new work. Perhaps something less stressful like calling bingo games at retirement communities.

Instead, the Yankees got a steady diet of Lidge’s lousy fastball (his trouble pitch all year long), sat on it, and clobbered it, blowing the game open.

The top of the ninth inning last night is a microcosm of why the Phillies are going to lose this series. Last year’s team finds a way to get Damon out at third, or last year’s Lidge actually gets him out at the plate with a SLIDER. This year’s team is so punch drunk on Joe Girardi’s steady dose of American League slowball, that their brains have become disconnected at the plate and in the field.

We all thought they were mentally tougher than this. Maybe they are, but not this week.

This World Series is shaping up to be 1993 all over again, except it’s the Cliff Lee show instead of the Curt Schilling show. Everything else that could go wrong has.

If the Phillies were playing their best baseball and still getting beat by the Yankees, I’d be OK with that. But they’re beating themselves, and that’s what hurts most watching this series.

The Phillies have dug themselves a huge hole, and their inimitable resolve is being tested like never before. If any team is capable of overcoming a 3-1 deficit, it’s this team. But don’t hold your breath.

Now that the Yankees finally finished off the Angels, we’ll find out if beating the almighty men in navy pinstripes is the only way this Phillies ball club will get some respect as a great team. If they do, they could go down as one of the best National League teams in 50 years (and even better than that depending on how they perform in the next couple of seasons).

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, because the Phillies definitely won’t. The task at hand is back-to-back world championships, and their opponent this year is certainly more formidable. But could they actually match up better against the Yankees than the Rays?

As unlikely as that may seem, the answer is yes.

Catcher
The regular season stats may not show it, and he may not have his own Sportscenter commercial, but the Phillies actually have a better catcher than the Yankees. For the second straight season, Carlos Ruiz has swung a hot bat in the postseason, while his work behind the plate remains exemplary. Defensively and as a signal-caller, he’s head-and-shoulders above Jorge Posada, who won’t even start every game in the series because he can’t get along with starter A.J. Burnett. Edge: Phillies

First Base
This is easily the most evenly matched position in the series. Ryan Howard’s defense is vastly improved from a year ago, but he still isn’t fit to spit shine Mark Teixeira’s Gold Gloves. On the other hand, he has more power than Teixeira and has driven in more runs this postseason than anyone except Alex Rodriguez. Teixeira is a better overall hitter, except for the postseason, when he has absolutely wilted, even while hitting in front of A-Rod. If Teixeira’s bat wakes up, he get’s the edge; if not, Howard does because he can change the face of any game with one swing. Edge: Even

Second Base
Robinson Cano is a former batting champion who recovered from a dismal 2008 campaign to put up good numbers again this year. A better pure hitter than Chase Utley, Cano doesn’t have the raw power, defense, hustle, intangibles and all-around moxie to compete with Utley—the best second sacker in the game. Edge: Phillies

Third Base
The only area this position even comes close to competitive is defense: Pedro Feliz is really good with the glove, but even he doesn’t match up to Alex Rodriguez, who isn’t even playing the right position (see below). A-Rod will probably finish his career with more home runs than anyone who ever played. The only people who will remember Feliz are Phillies fans. Of course, A-Rod had to pick this year to break out of his playoff funk. Edge: Yankees

Shortstop
This is another fairly even match up. Derek Jeter is a first-ballot Hall of Famer and a better hitter than Jimmy Rollins. J-Roll is a human vacuum cleaner at short, while Jeter should have swallowed his pride two years ago and moved to third base. Both players thrive in the clutch, though Jeter has a lot more experience in that area. Yankees fans idolize Jeter, and well they should, but he’s past his prime at shortstop; and if you offered me a straight-up trade of 2009 Jeter for 2009 Rollins—I’d pass without having to think about it. Edge: Phillies

Left Field
Raul Ibanez was one of the best free-agent signings anywhere in baseball this year, and he picked a good time to come back to life after strug-ga-ling mightily the last few months of the season. Refreshed, he’s a far more dangerous hitter than the almost-as-old Johnny Damon. Neither one of them is exactly Gold Glove material anymore, though Ibanez may have a slightly better throwing arm There’s a good chance Ibanez could DH in New York, putting the better-fielding Ben Francisco in left. Edge: Phillies

Center Field
Shane Victorino is as fast as they come, has a cannon for an arm, and his instincts on line drives and fly balls of all variety are matched by few major league centerfielders. They certainly aren’t matched by Melky Cabrera, the second of New York’s trio of left fielders. Victorino is also a much better hitter who steals bases with the best of them. Frankly, this isn’t much of a contest. Edge: Phillies

Right Field
One minute Jayson Werth looks terrible at the plate and the next he’s delivering a big two-strike hit to right. Regardless, his offensive numbers are much better than Nick Swisher, whose main claim to fame is loosening up the Yankees clubhouse. Werth also possesses a rocket arm and great speed, while Swisher shouldn’t even be playing right field. Again, not much of a contest. Edge: Phillies

Designated Hitter
The edge here depends on who is actually DH for the Phillies. If it’s Ibanez, he’s a superior hitter to Hideki Matsui, whose bad knees have robbed him of power and make him a liability on the bases. If the Phillies decide to mix and match at DH and leave Ibanez in left field, then Matsui gets the edge over whoever the Phillies bring in from the bench. Edge: Even

Starting Pitching
1) Day one is the mother of all pitching duels: CC Sabathia versus Cliff Lee. The two ex-Cleveland lefties have both been unhittable this postseason, and there’s no reason to think they won’t keep throwing zeroes. Of course, the Phillies did beat Sabathia in the playoffs last year when he was with Milwaukee. 2) Another great dual sets up for game two when Pedro Martinez returns to the big stage of Yankee stadium, where he loves the pressure and spotlight; A.J. Burnett used to be a semi-regular punching bag for the Phillies when he pitched for Florida. 3) The way Cole Hamels has pitched most of this year (without an out pitch), it’s hard not to give the edge to veteran Yankee southpaw Andy Pettite, though the Phillies could easily light up his stuff as well. 4) It’s almost a given that the Yankees will go with Sabathia on three days rest because the rest of their rotation… well, they don’t really have one. The Phillies will most likely turn to Joe Blanton, who hasn’t been real good in the playoffs. The good news is, that means Lee matches up against an inferior opponent in game five. Edge: Even

Bullpen
The Phillies bullpen has been much maligned this season, and with good reason; but they seem to have turned it around in the playoffs, with a few hiccups. The Yankees have the opposite problem. What was supposed to be a strength (middle relief) has become a crapshoot in the postseason. But whether or not Brad Lidge has hit the reset button since the playoffs started, there’s a reason Mariano Rivera is nicknamed the Hammer of God. Even the Phillies, with their propensity for late-inning heroics, cannot afford to give Rivera the ball with a lead. Edge: Yankees

Bench
Last year this would’ve been no contest in favor of the Phillies, but Greg Dobbs, Matt Stairs & Co. haven’t been anywhere near as good as last season. Having Matsui on the bench in the Philadelphia games could prove advantageous to the Yankees. Edge: Yankees

Manager
Charlie Manuel has 45 years of professional baseball experience and manages by instinct. Joe Girardi has three years of managerial experience and manages with a three-ring binder that looks like it holds the New York State tax code. Edge: Phillies

Summary
I mark it 7-3-3 in favor of the Phillies. Last year I had the Phillies with a 7-4-2 advantage over the Rays, and that worked out well. Hopefully, my amateur scouting skills haven’t worn off. But it seems clear to me that the Phillies have better team speed, play better defense and their lineup can go toe-to-toe with the Bronx Bombers. Even their pitching staffs are fairly even.

The Yankees are the best team money can buy, but not as many people are ready to hand them their 27th World Series title as you might think. Though the fact that so many are just because they are the Yankees, regardless of which team is actually the defending champion, tells you something about the lack of recognition the Phillies get for being a great team. Well, there’s one way to fix that…

Last year I wrote: “I feel good about this. Much more calm than I should be, really.”

I never would have thought I’d be sitting here at the same time again the following year feeling exactly the same way.

The Phillies may or may not win this World Series. Despite my dominant scouting edge in favor of the Phightins, I don’t share J-Roll’s confidence about a five-game victory. If they do win, I think it will probably take more than that. But I absolutely, 100 percent believe they can beat the Yankees; and so do they.

Not too many seasons ago, beating the Yankees in a World Series would have been unthinkable to both Philadelphia player and fan.

My how times have changed.

I keep telling my father, who I think is still shell-shocked from 1964 despite two World Series titles since then, that it’s hard to accept that this Phillies club actually routinely wins these kinds of games. I’ve seen it a lot the past three seasons and even I shake my head in disbelief; but I never think they’re finished anymore.

After Ryan Howard’s laser shot gave them a 2-0 lead in the first inning, visions of last night’s rout danced through our heads. It was not to be; but the true story was far more exciting.

Joe Blanton cruised through the Dodgers lineup the first time, then had the strike zone reversed on him. Randy Wolf had the opposite experience after his rough first inning. It was a mysterious strike zone all night—another lousy job behind the plate again by the umpiring crews in these playoffs, but at least it was lousy on both sides.

Anyway, Blanton started nibbling and the Dodgers poked away at him from the fourth through sixth innings and took a 4-2 lead. Chase Utley’s RBI single in the bottom of the sixth brought it back to within one. By the way, can we put to rest this phantom bad postseason Utley is rumored to be having? Here’s his line in the 2009 playoffs: .345 BA, .472 OBP, 6 BB, 7 R, 1 HR, 2 RBI. And his temporary case of Knoblauchitis seems to have passed. So knock if off people.

Back to the game, three shutdown innings from Chan Ho Park, Ryan Madson and Brad Lidge held that one-run lead into the bottom of the ninth. Dodger closer Jonathan Broxton wanted nothing to do with Matt Stairs, who must have given him Nam-like flashbacks, because he then went and plunked Carlos Ruiz. After Greg Dobbs weakly lined out to third, Jimmy Rollins was the last best hope, and he delivered in grand fashion.

And the best part? You knew they weren’t finished, even down to their last out.

If only game five were tomorrow. The almost unthinkable is only one step away.

What was that I said this morning about silent strokes? I should be dead by now.

The Phillies couldn’t have picked a more stressful fashion in which to win game four and move on to the National League Championship Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Stressful for us fans at least, because the team sure looked calm after home plate umpire Ron “Squeeze” Kulpa and Ryan Madson ruined a gem by Cliff Lee in the bottom of the eighth inning.

The game was entirely too close for comfort the whole way through to that point, but it felt like Lee had things in hand before Kulpa, for the second time in the game, walked a batter to whom Lee had thrown three clear strikes. Then that same batter should have been called out on the next play when he lept over Chase Utley while fielding Todd Helton’s ground ball, but instead ended up safe at second when Jimmy Rollins dropped Utley’s toss.

At this point Charlie Manuel made the right move by summoning Madson to face Troy Tulowitski, and all went according to plan when Ben Francisco retired Tulowitski on a fantastic catch in left field. But then Jason Giambi and his porn-stache singled to left to score the tying run and Yorvit Torrealba (whose antics behind the plate were getting tiresome) doubled in Helton and Giambi to take a 4-2 lead.

By the way, is it just me or does Helton look like Theodore Roosevelt’s inbred cousin with that dumbass grin?

Anyway, raise your hand if you thought the Phillies would get those three runs back in the top of the ninth? Once again Rollins got the rally going, singling up the middle. Shane Victorino traded places with him on a fielder’s choice, and then Rockies closer Huston Street (a fellow Texas Longhorn) inexplicably nibbled on Utley with Ryan Howard on deck. The walk would cost him dearly when Howard doubled home both runs (once Victorino figured out where third base was) to tie the game and Jayson Werth followed that up with what would prove to be the game-winning RBI single.

Now with a one-run lead again, it was back to the shaky bullpen and Scott Eyre, who got two outs before putting two men on and forcing another Lidge-Tulowitski showdown. Fortunately, Brad Lidge had one more knee-buckling slider in him and got the strikeout to send Philadelphia to Los Angeles for an NLCS rematch and lower the collective hearts of all Phillies fans from their throats.

I’ll be back in a few days with an NLCS preview. I don’t know about you, but after this series, I need the rest.

I think I might have had a few of those silent strokes last night, so that plus the game ending at 1am may result in a scattershot post this morning, so my apologies in advance.

The Phillies hung on by the skin of Brad Lidge’s teeth, to whom Charlie Manuel entrusted a one-run, ninth inning lead. Once again, Lidge’s fastball was allergic to the strike zone, but he somehow escaped two walks and lucked out when Troy Tulowitski popped out on a hanging slider to end the game. Heart palpitations receded across the Delaware Valley and anywhere else in the world Phillies fans were watching the game.

Of course, none of that glorious chaos would have been possible if not for Chase Utley’s heads up hustle in the top of ninth. After hitting a dribbler in front of the plate, Utley took off for first knowing full well the ball had hit him while also knowing full well that sometimes umpires miss calls (as they have often this series) and he could be thrown out if he just stood there. He beat the throw and moved Jimmy Rollins to third, from where Ryan Howard, who is really locked in right now, hit a sacrifice fly to bring Rollins home with the game winning run.

On what had to be the coldest night of baseball I’ve ever seen, there was a surprising amount of offense. There were also a lot of nerves from J.A. Happ, who just couldn’t throw strikes the first few innings, forcing Manuel to turn to a much more effective Joe Blanton. Effective when not facing Carlos Gonzalez anyway, who is a one-man wrecking crew for the Rockies this series. If I never have to see him again, it’ll be too soon.

It was another neck-and-neck game between the two most evenly matched teams in the divisional round. I really can’t stand watching the Rockies, probably because they remind me so much of the Phillies. They just don’t have the experience to stay even-keeled when things go haywire and that could be their downfall. Thanks to Saturday’s snow out, the Phillies get to try and close the door with Cliff Lee tonight.