My Phillies posts have been few and far between the past couple of weeks because: a) I’ve been a bit swamped with work and other things, and b) How many times can you write about how much the Phillies stink right now?

Apparently The Philadelphia Inquirer just figured that out this morning, stating that the Phillies’ “postseason hopes are just about gone.”

Just about? Where have they been for the past month? Are they aware the A’s play in Oakland now?

Anyway, most of the Phillies blogging out there has already turned to the shape of next year’s team, and there seems to be a wide range of opinion as to who should stay and who should go.



Aside from the obvious departures of Ed Wade (those were some special trades), Larry Bowa (the ostensible leader of an aimless bunch of underachievers), and Joe Kerrigan (that theory of ignoring base runners and focusing on hitters only works if the pitchers get the hitters out), there isn’t going to be a whole lot of roster turnover as much of the team is already under contract.

In my mind, Eric Milton is the only free-agent-to-be who must be re-signed. Yes, he gives up a lot of home runs, but most of them are of the solo variety. And if his teammates hadn’t stopped providing run support, he’d be about 18-2 right now.

That would leave Floyd, Madson, and Myers to fight it out for the last two spots in the rotation, with the loser going to the bullpen. There will be the usual bullpen turnover that every team goes through in the offseason these days, and if Wagner picks up his option and stays healthy, that situation should be no worse than it was before injuries derailed it earlier this year.

On the offensive side of the ball – and it has been offensive – Placido Polanco would be nice to keep, but with David Bell locked in at third base and Chase Utley (can this kid flat out hit or what?) ready to take over at second, there doesn’t seem to be a place for him. Tomas Perez is a no-brainer to re-sign with his utility skills, but the rest of the bench is a take-it-or-leave-it situation.



The bottom line is that there’s still an awful lot of talent on this club – far too much to be languishing near the mediocrity of Cincinnati, Detroit, and Pittsburgh. And since most of the players aren’t going anywhere, executive changes are the only available recourse to shake things up.

So, the Summer Olympics will be winding down sometime this week. That’s a complete guess on my part, because I’ve hardly watched 10 minutes since it started.

Apparently, neither have any of the people who are actually in Athens. Electrifying crowds of 40, even 50 people have been cheering on some of the world’s best athletes. And NBC’s ratings, while improving over the past week, haven’t exactly been through the roof, even with American athletes performing relatively well (again, I’m just guessing here).

So what happened? Have the Summer Olympics always been this uninteresting?

I would argue, yes.

The Winter Olympics, on the other hand (with the exception of a few dogs like the biathlon and figure skating), are nothing but exciting. Who wouldn’t want to watch someone laying on sled race down a tube of ice at 80 mph; or a skier flying down an icy mountain slope at similar speeds? One of the most indelible images in all of sports is the “agony of defeat” guy caroming off the ski jump from ABC’s Wide World of Sports intro.

Don’t get me wrong – I certainly appreciate the athleticism and skill it takes to perform in the summer games. Gymnastics and track and field events (put aside the doping questions for now) are some of the most physically challenging endeavors in existence. But the summer games just don’t have the same sense of peril as their winter counterparts.

Is there anything the Summer Olympics can do to boost interest? After all, what does it say when the most popular sport in Athens this year was women’s beach volleyball?

I’ll tell you what it says. It demonstrates the one advantage the Summer Olympics have over the winter games.

They can be played in the nude.

There’s no question about the added level of interest this would bring to the Olympics. And while it sounds far-fetched and perhaps inappropriate to some, there is a lot of precedent to support such a change.

For starters, that’s actually how the games were played when the Greeks established this competition more than 2,000 years ago. Supposedly, we’ve become more evolved since then, and yet this year’s women’s beach volleyball attire is the skimpiest it’s gotten since the modern games began in 1896.

If the ancient Greeks were mature enough to handle watching athletes in the nude, surely we can deal with it, right? As long as they’re not wearing nipple shields, I guess.

Meanwhile, dozens of female Olympians have been baring all or almost all in several magazine spreads this month. So where are the men, ladies? Well, if the games were played au natural, the women would get their fair share of beefcake, making the experience a completely neutral one as far as sexism goes.

So, I propose a return to the ancient Greek tradition of nude Olympics. TV ratings and ticket sales will skyrocket, Katie Couric will be adorably uncomfortable and/or flirtatious during Today show interviews, and slow-motion instant replay will take on a whole new dimension.



Addendum: the Greco-Roman wrestling heavyweight class is banned from nude competition.

Garden State

Directed by Zach Braff

Starring Braff, Natalie Portman, Ian Holm, Peter Sarsgaard

Synopsis: An actor (Braff) deadened by the psychotropic drugs he’s been taking since childhood returns home to New Jersey for his mother’s funeral and neglects to bring his medication with him. A reunion with his increasingly bizarre high school friends and a budding romance/friendship with a young woman (Portman), coupled with the lack of meds, help clear up his mind over the course of his visit while he come to terms with his past.

Review: Writer/director/actor Braff (better known as the star of the NBC sitcom Scrubs) delivers a very solid first effort filled with vibrant characters and genuinely funny and touching moments. Braff also turns in a strong performance in the lead role of Andrew Largeman, a moderately successful actor coming back to reality from a 15-year, medicated fog induced by his oppressive, psychiatrist father (Holm). But it’s Portman who emerges as the film’s true heart and soul, turning in a very charming, Audrey Hepburn-like performance as a pathological liar who turns out to be the most honest thing in Largeman’s life. The movie isn’t particularly Jerseyish (it could have taken place anywhere really), and its unnecessary clichéd Hollywood conclusion belies the rest of the film’s quirky independence. Still, these are minor distractions from what is an otherwise very effective comedy/drama about healing and self-forgiveness.

Grade: B+

So the Phillies dropped another one last night, falling two games below .500 and 9½ back of the Braves. It’s a sad state of affairs when the imminent departure of the manager is the only reason to stay tuned.

Ed Wade declined to give Larry Bowa the dreaded “vote of confidence” before last night’s game. As we’ve come to learn over the years, getting a vote of confidence probably means you’re about to get fired, but not getting it is almost a guaranteed pink slip.

Bowa could be fired in next 90 minutes. It’s getaway day, and if he’s not going on the trip to Milwaukee, why should he bother managing this afternoon’s game either.



The clock starts now.

Vicente Padilla pitched well for a second straight start since returning from the disabled list, but the guys with the sticks squandered his good outing, and the Phillies concluded a horror show that started with a 16-6 massacre on Friday the 13th and finished with a 3-1 bloodletting on Sunday and a series sweep for the Giants.

The Phillies now reside 8 games behind the Braves and 4½ back in the NL Wild Card race with a remarkably ordinary .500 record.

Even the most hopeful of Phillies fans must now acknowledge that this season is a lost cause. The list of injured Phillies seems to keep growing by the day, and no waiver trades, managerial/coaching changes, or executive management changes are going to salvage this colossal failure.

The offseason is another matter. This team needs a clean sweep of its management positions, particularly those in the dugout. Everyone from Bowa on down needs to go: Kerrigan, Gross, Varsho – even Vukovich.

It’s clear the players don’t respond to this bunch. In fact, they obviously respond negatively, because a team with this much talent should be able to manage themselves to 85 wins, a number this club will have a hard time reaching.