Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

Directed by Doug Liman
Starring Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Vince Vaughn

Synopsis
A husband and wife discover they are top assassins for opposing “companies.” When they are set up to eliminate each other, sparks fly in their lifeless marriage.

Review
Usually in movies, the suspension of disbelief is reserved for the action within the film; when it has to be expanded to cover the plot, that’s usually a real bad sign. Not so with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which successfully floats past the viewer the idea that two people could be married for five or six years and have no idea the other is also a top-notch assassin. It does so with a clever, funny script (is it just me, or is Vince Vaughn funny in everything these days?) and great chemistry between its leading actors, whose real-life “are they or aren’t they” relationship notwithstanding have a definite connection on-screen. Imagine Eyes Wide Shut as an action movie. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is simple, effective summer-movie fare; and while it takes the easy way out at the end, director Doug Liman never takes the plot too seriously and thereby sticks the landing on the few serious things the film has to say about marriage.

Grade: B

What is there to say really? I’m a dope.

After writing this team off three weeks ago, the Phillies are now in the NL East catbird seat. While they are still alone in second place, they’re only one game behind a grossly overachieving Washington Nationals club that has been outscored overall by its opponents and doesn’t even have a left-handed pitcher on its roster. The Nationals play the Angles and Rangers over the next two series, while the Phillies play the Mariners and Athletics, the two teams the Nationals just beat up on at RFK.

Advantage: Phillies.

Beware: The Phillies are 12-18 against the NL East, by far the worst record against division opponents.

Other Musings

I was at Sunday’s game against the Brewers, and other than having to listen to an apparent heat stroke victim behind me explain to his buddies why the Phillies should trade Abreu, I had a thoroughly enjoyable time at the Safe-Deposit Box.

My only other trip there was last year; it was a bit rushed, and I didn’t get a chance to see the whole park. This time I got there a few hours early and took a good walk around. Some thoughts:

- The centerfield exhibit on the history of Philadelphia baseball is informative and interesting, as are the plaques commemorating the greatest Phillies.
- Even though Grover Cleveland Alexander played before there were numbers and Chuck Klein wore so many different numbers that it would be impossible to retire just one, it would be nice to see them acknowledged in some way along with the other Hall of Famers who had their numbers retired, not just with one of those plaques.
- You’d think a team with only five NL Pennants and one World Series championship in 122 years would do a better job of pointing them out than simple red and blue flags with nothing but 1915, 1950, 1980, 1983, and 1993 on them. What does that mean to anyone not from Philly?
- That outfield really scares me. What did they model it after, Williamsport? I still think the brick hitting background should be turned into the centerfield wall, removing all that shrubbery (Ni!) so balls could carom around out there, leading to more triples (the most exciting play in baseball) and even inside-the-park home runs. It would be the defining feature of the ballpark for years to come.

Breaking News

Looks like Randy Wolf is headed for Tommy John surgery, essentially leaving the Phillies with three starting pitchers (Padilla doesn’t count at this point). Ed Wade is no doubt already on the phone trying to find the best starting pitcher he can get for Ryan Howard. The problem is that the buyers/sellers market hasn’t been clearly established yet. Robinson Tejeda will have to hold down the fort for a few weeks until it becomes clear who is available and whether Howard meets that team’s price.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

Directed by Garth Jennings
Starring Martin Freeman, Sam Rockwell, Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel, Alan Rickman (voice), Stephen Fry (voice), Bill Nighy, John Malkovich

Synopsis
Minutes before Earth is destroyed to make way for a hyper-galactic express route, an Englishman’s best friend reveals himself to be an alien researcher for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and the two of them join the insane President of the Galaxy on a quest for the question to the answer of the ultimate question of Life, the Universe and Everything.

Review
Usually the criteria for reviewing a comedy is covered by one question: Is it funny? This film defies that criterion, however, because while often funny, it is a wholly unsatisfying movie-going experience. The whole film is a paradox every bit as confusing, but nowhere near as whimsical as the metaphysical musings in the novel by Douglas Adams. One the one hand, the movie will be lost on anyone who hasn’t read the book; yet Adams (before he died) and co-screenwriter Karey Kirkpatrick (Chicken Run) introduced new characters and made substantial plot changes that added nothing of value to the overall story. The end result is like an inaccurate cliff notes version of the novel on film – hurried and barely capable of fooling your book-of-the-month club into thinking you read it. One thing the movie version has going for it is the cast, which was assembled brilliantly (with the exception of Zooey Deschanel), particularly Sam Rockwell, who simultaneously embodies the spirit of Zaphod Beeblebrox and the film – moving 100 miles a minute to nowhere in particular.

Grade: C+

So, Ed Wade has made his “Annual Mid-Season Trade for a Relief Pitcher” (albeit a little earlier than usual), and it’s Ugeth Urbina. To get him, plus journeyman utility infielder Roman Martinez, the Phillies finally part ways with Placido Polanco.

This is the best “Annual Mid-Season Trade for a Relief Pitcher” Ed Wade has ever made. Think about that for a second.

Think about all the schlubs Wade has traded away minor league talent to get. Now they get a proven (though nerve-wracking at times) veteran reliever for a guy they never wanted to keep in the first place, plus it finally allows Chase Utley to play everyday. Does this mean Tim Worrell is retiring?

On a personal note, I’d like to add how awful this trade was for my fantasy team, for which Urbina was a closer. Good for the Phils, bad for me. But I’ll take it.

By the way, the Phillies are now four games over .500 and alone in second place in the NL East. The combo of Fultz, Madson, Wagner, and spot starter Robinson Tejeda (whom the Rangers’ lousy broadcast team of Josh Lewin and Tom Grieve referred to as Tejada into the fifth inning, then blamed the locals for misguiding them on the pronunciation) shut out the best hitting team in baseball.

Even more impressive was that Tejeda threw fastballs almost exclusively, but varied the location and speed between 92-96 mph while mixing in the rare changeup. Not to jump the gun, but if Padilla doesn’t shape up soon, Cletus may need to seriously consider swapping their roles. Maybe Padilla would be better off only having to concentrate one inning per game.

Get ready for a barn-burner tomorrow night with Padilla going against the equally clobber-prone Astacio. There’s no way the Rangers’ bats will go that quietly again.

In the words of Slim Pickens in Blazing Saddles: “What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin’ on here?” (I won’t finish the rest of the dialogue.)

The Philadelphia Phillies, a team some of us left for dead on May 24 (and by some, I mean me), are now two games over .500 and 1½ games behind the first place Washington Nationals. No, that’s not a misprint.

The Phillies made up five games in 10 days (a kind of anti-1964), and a baseball team from Washington is in first place this late in the season for the first time since 1933. First and last place (which is occupied by the Phillies and last week’s first place team, the Marlins) are separated by 1½ games and every team in the division is over .500.

Things have gotten very interesting.

I can’t comment much on the Phils’ series against Arizona because I didn’t seen any of it (it wasn’t on MLB Extra Innings), but I can and will comment extensively on their next series against the Texas Rangers.

For those of you who don’t know, my family moved to the Dallas/Ft. Worth Metroplex when I was 10, and I’ve attended far more Rangers games over the years than Phillies games. While I remained a Phillies fan through and through, my parents (while still pulling for the Phillies to do well) have lived in the area for more than 20 years and shifted their allegiance to the Rangers a long time ago. So I still follow the Rangers with some interest, though not a rooting one.

With the exception of impressive rookie Chris Young, the Phillies catch a break with some of the Rangers’ struggling starters this week, and with any luck Soriano’s gammy hamstring will keep him out for at least the first game, maybe more. Nevertheless, the Rangers can rake it with anyone, and the Phillies will be hard-pressed to further their current winning ways.

The Phillies may be hitting well right now, but their offense pales in comparison to the Rangers when they’re firing on all cylinders. If the saying about chicks digging the long-ball is true, the Rangers must have a traveling harem. Playing this series in the Safe-Deposit Box isn’t going to help the Phillies’ cause any either.

Looking forward to this weekend, I plan on driving up to Philly to catch Saturday’s and Sunday’s games against the Brewers. If any of you out there in Phillies blogdom plan on being at either of those games, let me know and maybe we can meet in person.