On a night when Jimmy Rollins extended his hitting streak to 31 games, tying the club mark set by Ed Delahanty in 1899, the real story is how the Phillies snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with their eighth inning collapse and post-game buck passing.

Overlooking for a moment Urbina’s role in causing this drama in the first place, if Billy Wagner is to be believed, his manager basically threw him under the team bus to cover up his own inept decision-making.

Why wasn’t Wagner pitching in the eighth inning when the Phillies were gagging on what had been a three-run lead? According to Manual, Wagner’s shoulder was sore and he wasn’t available. According to Wagner, that’s horseshit—of course his shoulder is sore, but so is everyone else’s at this point in the year.

And so it begins.

I was on vacation last week and paid little attention to the Phils or anything else while I was gone, but I fully expected them to be setting up their tee times when I returned.

Lo and behold they were only one game back going into last night. Yet who among us doubted their natural ability spit up all over themselves like a baby who’s eaten too much strained peas?

Side Note: Rollins has less than a snowball’s chance in hell of getting anywhere near DiMaggio’s record, but just for argument’s sake, what if he gets to 50 games over the course of two seasons? Is it a greater accomplishment than DiMaggio’s 56? I say yes. What do you think?

That was some egg the Eagles laid last night.

Jeremiah Trotter gets ejected before the game for fighting, even though he never threw a punch, a requirement for getting ejected. Still, he should have just stayed out of it.

David Akers missed two 49-yard field goals which, in a dome, should be automatic for him. If he makes those, the Eagles win.

And for God’s sake, will someone please tell Donovan McNabb it’s OK to run with the ball occasionally?! I counted at least a half dozen times when he stood in the pocket liked he was nailed there, futilely looking for an open receiver, when he had a wide-open field in front of him. The result was a forced throw that went incomplete, a sack, or the dreaded sack/fumble combo.

Donovan: You’ve proven to us all that you’re a good pocket passer. We won’t hold it against you if you take off running four or five times a game.

There was one positive to take out of this game. Even with Trotter missing and Atlanta rushing for more than 200 yards, the Jim Johnson’s defense held the other birds to only 14 points and forced three turnovers.

Provided McNabb is halfway healthy next week, it shouldn’t be difficult for the Eagles to right the ship against the pathetic (forget what you saw against the Rams) 49ers.

I’ve contended for a while now (not that you’d know it, thanks to my prolonged absence from the blogosphere for boring reasons that I won’t go into here) that the Phillies’ only chance to make the playoffs is to win the NL East outright. Unfortunately, they now sit eight games behind the Braves. Even a four-game sweep against Atlanta this week won’t help.

Here’s the problem: Though they’re only 1½ games behind the Astros in the Wild Card race, Houston has a relatively cream-puff schedule the rest of the way, while the NL East teams will spend the remainder of September beating up on each other.

Translation: Houston plays better than .500 ball + the Phillies and other NL East teams play no better than .500 = No ground gained in the Wild Card race. Houston makes the playoffs.

So goes another season of Philadelphia baseball.

And as I sat through all three games at RFK in Washington last weekend and watched baseball played according to the Charlie manual (stand around and wait for a three-run homer), then watched the same thing in the series against the Astros and Marlins on TV, it occurred to me (not for the first time) that until managerial changes are made at the top of the organization and in the dugout, this is the best we’ll have to look forward to for a long time to come.

God only knows why I’m bothering with this again. I can’t enjoy making bad football jokes that much, can I?. Maybe I’m just trying to distract myself from the inevitable with the Phillies (collapse currently in progress).

Whatever the masochistic reason, here begins my futile attempt at picking NFL games for 2005.

Oakland at New England (-7.5)
Some of us remember the days when Norv Turner’s Dallas offense was a well-oiled machine thanks to a perfect combination of talent, something he sorely lacked in Washington when he put all of his eggs in Heath Shuler’s basket. Does he finally have the right mix again in Oakland? Patriots 27, Raiders 24

Denver at Miami (+5)
How bad are things in Miami? Gus Frerotte beat out A.J. Feeley for the starting QB job. Broncos 26, Dolphins 10

Cincinnati at Cleveland (+3.5)
This is just between you and me, but according to my friend from Cleveland, the Browns stink. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone. Bengals 35, Browns 17

Houston at Buffalo (-4.5)
Buffalo has a bunch of talent surrounding a potential stiff at QB, while Houston has a talented QB and RB surrounded by stiffs. Since my fantasy team this year is relying on the second coming of the Bills (was there a first coming?), I’ll go with them at home. Bills 23, Texans 17

Tennessee at Pittsburgh (-7.5)
Human punching bag Steve McNair continues to defy all physical logic by taking the field for another season, but the Titans are the definition of “rebuilding.” Then again, Pittsburgh is without Staley and Bettis. Steelers 16, Titans 13

Chicago at Washington (-4.5)
Week 1′s Pepé Le Pew Memorial Classic. Redskins 13, Bears 10

New Orleans at Carolina (-7)
The Saints are having a hard enough time without me picking on them, so I’ll just stick to the score. Panthers 28, Saints 17

Tampa Bay at Minnesota (-6)
Call it a hunch (possibly a really dumb one), but Dante Culpepper will thrive without Randy Moss. Vikings 31, Buccaneers 20

Seattle at Jacksonville (-3)
Is this the year Seattle finally… blah, blah, blah. Byron Leftwich is ready for a breakout year. Jaguars 24, Seahawks 20

New York Jets at Kansas City (-3)
YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! Well, maybe not this one, Herm. Chiefs 30, Jets 24

Arizona at New York Giants (-2.5)
ESPN’s Michael Smith picked Kurt Warner to win the MVP this year. And I thought I was nuts for making picks. Cardinals 23, Giants 20

St. Louis at San Francisco (+5.5)
Not only should San Francisco cut someone to let Jerry Rice retire as a 49er, they should keep him on the roster for the rest of the year. Seriously—who else do they have? Rams 35, 49ers 17

Green Bay at Detroit (-3)
Knowing Brett Favre, he’ll probably convert the stress from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina on his hometown into a career season. Unfortunately the Green Bay defense will also look like Kiln, Miss., after most games. Lions 33, Packers 24

Dallas at San Diego (-4.5)
Drew Bledsoe will spend most of this season on his back, looking up at the hole in the roof in Texas Stadium. Lucky for him he gets to start the season on his back looking up at the sunny San Diego sky. Chargers 27, Cowboys 17

Indianapolis at Baltimore (+3)
The league’s best offense vs. possibly the league’s best defense: a nightmare for a tout like me. Still, Baltimore’s offense is just bad enough to keep them out of this game. Colts 20, Ravens 15

Philadelphia at Atlanta (+1.5)
Terrell Owens auditions for next year’s employer in a rematch of last year’s NFC Championship game. Fortunately, he still plays for my Iggles—for now. Eagles 27, Falcons 21