I could weigh in on the value of the Vicente Padilla trade for the Phillies—wait, no I can’t because the “player to be named later” hasn’t actually been named (though from what I’m reading, the guys Pat Gillick is considering are nothing to write home about).

This seems to be purely a salary/head case dump by the Phillies. Padilla will take his million-dollar arm and 10-cent head to Texas where he’ll wilt in the summer heat and pace endlessly around the mound at the Ballpark in Arlington (or whatever it’s called these days), driving my father insane and turning already interminable American League games into epics of Homeric proportions.

I think the more incredible aspect of this transaction is the hidden economic factor. Padilla is 51-51 with 3.95 ERA in his career and will make somewhere north of $4 million in 2006. Meanwhile, somewhere north of the border, A.J. Burnett, who is 49-50 with 3.73 ERA in his career, just signed a five-year, $55 million contract.

If this isn’t proof of how screwed up baseball’s economics are, I don’t know what is.

As a follow-up to our previous discussion, wherein two co-workers and I devised a college football playoff in roughly 15 minutes, here’s how that hypothetical system would break down this year:

No.1 USC vs. No.8 Florida State
No.4 Ohio State vs. No.5 Oregon
No.3 Penn State vs. No. 6 Georgia
No.2 Texas vs. No.7 West Virginia

Assuming chalk in the first round, the result would be the following second round match-ups:

USC vs. Ohio State
Penn State vs. Texas

And regardless of how these semi-final games turned out, it would be a great national championship.

Now I ask you: Who wouldn’t want to watch these seven games?

We made it. I’ve put the fiancée on notice and cleared my schedule for January 4: Texas vs. USC for the national championship.

Or maybe that should be Texas vs. Superman, because the Trojans may as well put a cape on Reggie Bush and stamp an ‘S’ on his chest instead of No. 5. The Longhorns have one chance to win this game, and that’s to practice tackling, tackling, tackling, tackling, tackling and tackling over the next month.

Bush seems to be in another dimension from the rest of college football. It’s not that he’s faster than everyone else in terms of a flat-out sprint—it’s a matter of gears. He has a remarkable ability to lull defenders into pursuing him at a certain speed, then downshifting and accelerating past everyone.

As great a player as Vince Young is, even as a Texas graduate my Heisman vote would go to Bush in a runaway.

Texas will be able to put up 30-35 points against USC’s mediocre defense. The only question is whether or not the Longhorns’ excellent defense will be able to hold Bush, Leinart, White & Co. to roughly the same amount. Texas is really fast on both sides of the ball, and hopefully the Trojans won’t realize it. Then you have to take into account that the Rose Bowl may as well be a home game for USC. (Put that earning power to good use fellow Texas alumni and travel well.)

Good luck to the ol’ alma mater… you’re going to need it.

Pathetic Phillies fans… who can save you now?

FLASH! Ah-ah.

Just in time for the umpteenth remake of Flash Gordon, due in 2006, Tom “Flash” Gordon is joining the Phillies as their new closer.

Gordon will be 41 years old when his new three-year, $18 million contract with the Phillies expires. Forty-one.

I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but the Phillies could have re-signed 34-year-old Billy Wagner in July for three years, $24 million.

The Phillies saved $6 million.

I’m sure Gordon will be a serviceable closer next season and, if we’re lucky, the season after that. But the Phillies will have 19 chances next season to be reminded about what they let go—futilely swinging at 100 mph fastballs and flailing at wicked sliders while Wagner closes games for the Mets.

Perhaps Wagner was wrong to run his mouth about the Phillies’ lack of commitment to winning, but can anyone argue with what he said?