In a move as predictable as the sun coming up tomorrow, the Phillies made their annual Ed Wade Memorial Trade today, swapping double-A lefty Matt Maloney for righty Kyle Lohse, a guy so spectacular, he’s the No. 3 starter for the Cincinnati Reds (45-61).

Kyle F. Lohse. Yeah, he’s the missing piece in that rotation.

I’ve got a solution: BRETT MYERS.

And for those of you wowed by the Phillies current winning ways, even without Chase Utley in the lineup, here’s my caveat: Their bats will go into a slump. All teams do. And when that happens (they lost their two fastest players in one game tonight), even the great Kyle Lohse won’t be able to stop the bleeding.

Oh, and now the Braves have a big-time hitter in the middle of their lineup. Look out.

Whatever slim chance the Phillies had to contend for the postseason this year just turned to none when an inside fastball broke Chase Utley’s hand this afternoon. Even if he’s only out for an optimistic three weeks, that’s a long time for a team which relies solely on offense to win without its best hitter.

Makes you wonder if Pat Gillick should think about switching into seller mode. If he can rustle up a couple of long-term pitchers for the likes of Bourn or Rowand (a guy I’d hate to lose, but if they have no intent to resign him…), doesn’t he have to think about the next few years instead of the snowball’s chance in hell this season has become?

And for crying out loud, now that there’s no rush to get Myers back, stretch him out for a few more weeks and put him back in the rotation where he belongs—please!

July 15, 2007, won’t be a particularly remarkable day in the annals of human history. After a few weeks time it won’t even be that memorable to the people of Philadelphia and the long-suffering fans of its professional baseball team. Nevertheless, the high-water mark of ineptitude it represents should be duly noted.

On this day the Philadelphia Phillies reached 10,000 losses. The number itself—10,000—is too monumental a milestone to simply brush off as the product of being around long enough (125 years) to produce such a total. As a whole, the franchise has five NL pennants, one World Series championship and a .468 winning percentage. Roughly one-third of those losses rest on the backs of players, managers and owners who produced only one winning season from 1918-1948, ending most of those years in the National League cellar. So the current team, on which a lot of frustration is often dumped, should be exonerated of this dubious achievement.

So who should take ownership of this ignominious feat? We should. We the fans. This one belongs to us. Oh, I don’t mean we should take the blame for it. I mean we deserve the credit. Credit for continuously supporting a franchise so routinely inept, they make the Cubs look like a bastion of success (9,425 losses, 16 NL pennants, 2 world championships and .513 winning percentage, in case you were wondering). As the final out was recorded and ESPN’s cameras spun around the Safe Deposit Box, I was proud to see so many people had stayed behind in a blowout to witness this little bit of Philadelphia sports history.

So whether you were there for 30 years of baseball feculence in the 1920s, 30s and 40s, Chico Ruiz’s steal of home in 1964, Greg Luzinski’s drop in 1977, Mitch Williams’ blown saves in 1993, all of the above or countless other migraine inducing moments, revel in your time, you Phans of Phutility. These are your Red Badges of Courage. Wear them proudly.

The baseball gods rewarded the Phillies’ “heroism” yesterday in Denver, when they saved the Coors Field grounds crew from almost certain peril, and preserved a victory to make sure the franchise could celebrate its landmark 10,000th loss at home next weekend after the All-Star break.

The Tarp Game, as it’s sure to become known for at least the next day or so, may prove to be the most interesting thing that happens to this team in 2007, apart from the aforementioned 10,000-loss milestone.

I think if we look at this club objectively—the slow start and often dumb baseball they played in the first 45 days, the ridiculous transition of Brett Myers to the bullpen, and a pitching staff that’s spent more time in the ICU than on the field—it’s something of an accomplishment that the Phillies sit in third place in the NL East at an even 44-44, 4.5 games behind the Mets.

Even I have to give Charlie Manuel some credit for keeping this mess together. But let’s not kid ourselves. Unless Pat Gillick manages to pull a few pitchers out of his hat, this team will be lucky to finish the 2007 season on the plus side of the wins column.

Allow me to take you back, if I may, to another ball club from days gone by with similar characteristics to this one. The 1930 Philadelphia Phillies scored 944 runs and hit .315 as a team, which believe it or not was only the fourth best offense in the NL that season. However, they also maintained their hold on the NL cellar with a 52-102 record thanks to a team ERA of 6.71, by far the worst in the league.

Sound familiar? The 2007 Phillies have a good shot at leading the NL in runs, but they also own the worst ERA as well. The spread in statistics isn’t as warped as that 1930 squad (obviously they’re not going to finish 50 games under .500), but the moral to the story is the same; bad pitching equals a bad record, and if they manage to finish anywhere in the neighborhood of .500, I’ll be impressed.

Meanwhile, it looks like the Milwaukee Brewers will be getting back to the playoffs before the Phillies.